The totally unserious thread for alternative ERS

[xpensive]

Let's see how far the imagination of this fine forum's members can be stretched?

My favorite would be wind turbines mounted in the sidepods, to harvest energy from the air passing through the radiators.

[CBeck113]

Why not piezos in the tracks, so when the cars drive they activate them? Could also work with induction fields.
The turbines would be better placed under the rear wing, so the TV viewers can see them spin...kinda like this:

Pinwheel bike ride von Darcee S. auf Flickr

[bhall]

A small nuclear reactor moderated by spring-loaded graphite rods within the driveshafts. The rods are extended into the core when the car brakes in order to reduce neutron flux, and thus fission, by alkali-metal thermal-to-electric converters powered by the transient high temperatures of the brake discs. During acceleration, the thermal-to-electric power is reduced as the brake discs cool, which allows the springs to remove the rods, thereby increasing the propulsive power of the reactor by virtue of increased neutron flux and fission.

Cooling might be an issue.

[Blanchimont]

Get rid of any energy recovery onboard the cars and instead create a new engineering contest for wind turbines. Every team has to develop the best wing profile for a wind turbine that gathers the most energy out of a defined flow in a wind tunnel.

The cars are only allowed to use 100kg of fuel for a complete race, but the more efficient your wind tunnel wind turbine is the more additional fuel you are allowed to use in the race, let's say the best wing profile gets 10 extra kg, the second best team 6kg, the third 4kg...

[Traction]

Cars should be equipped with a Drag Increase System side wing/flap on each side of the car that is automatically extended when heavy braking is required.

[RicerDude]

I highly doubt this would work, anyway the weight of the system would outweigh its benefits, much like the current ers.

[xpensive]

...
The turbines would be better placed under the rear wing, so the TV viewers can see them spin...kinda like this:
...

Why not having the turbines on top of the trailing edge of the rear wing, where static pressure is at its peak?

[Richard]

Piezos in the suspension with the car deliberately short fuelled. Drivers would have to go off track and hit every kerb to generate enough electricity to finish the race. It would be interesting to see how teams optimised driver weight, heavier drivers generate more energy per bump so they need fewer slow off track moments, but a heavier car is slower on track and requires more energy to get around the circuit, hence more bumps needed.

This would make the series highly road relevant for consumers with fashionably hard road car suspension in countries with abysmal road maintenance.

It would also bring in sponsorship from Anusol (other haemorrhoid treatments are available)

[Pierce89]

Get rid of any energy recovery onboard the cars and instead create a new engineering contest for wind turbines. Every team has to develop the best wing profile for a wind turbine that gathers the most energy out of a defined flow in a wind tunnel.

The cars are only allowed to use 100kg of fuel for a complete race, but the more efficient your wind tunnel wind turbine is the more additional fuel you are allowed to use in the race, let's say the best wing profile gets 10 extra kg, the second best team 6kg, the third 4kg...

That's virtually the same formula we have now isn't it?

[CBeck113]

...
The turbines would be better placed under the rear wing, so the TV viewers can see them spin...kinda like this:
...

Why not having the turbines on top of the trailing edge of the rear wing, where static pressure is at its peak?

Cuz then the cars would look stupid, or are d*ck noses and windmill butts sexy? Actually, there was something about sending a metallic object through a magnet field to produce energy, so let's put a magnetic ring on the backs of the cars!

[Blanchimont]

Get rid of any energy recovery onboard the cars and instead create a new engineering contest for wind turbines. Every team has to develop the best wing profile for a wind turbine that gathers the most energy out of a defined flow in a wind tunnel.

The cars are only allowed to use 100kg of fuel for a complete race, but the more efficient your wind tunnel wind turbine is the more additional fuel you are allowed to use in the race, let's say the best wing profile gets 10 extra kg, the second best team 6kg, the third 4kg...

That's virtually the same formula we have now isn't it?

Yeah, same, same, but different. The cars would weigh less, because there would be no batteries, no mguk, no mguh, no cables connecting them, no maximum fuel consumption per time(only 100-110kg for the total race). The engine regulations would be freed up, no maximum engine capacity, NA and supercharging allowed. The minimum weight is set to 600kg including driver and a 10kg ballast that would be removed if a team gets the additional 10kg of fuel.

The sound would improve because of the removal of the mguh, which allows the turbo to be smaller.

In the end F1 would be as green as it could be because the more efficient wind turbines save more CO2 than the complete F1 circus produces.

Am i too serious for this thread?

[flattyre]

[amc]

I propose the following change to article 5.5.1:
"The only means by which the driver may control acceleration torque to the driven wheels is via two linked chassis mounted pedals that rotate about an axis perpendicular to the car centreline."

Alternatively...
The entire vehicle power unit may be replaced by any number of felines riding tiny bicycles. The system and be augmented by the addition of an MGU - Mouse Generator Unit - which will feed the cats. Optimal positioning of the felines would of course require them to be close to large radiators. The cars will not scream like the old V8s, but they will certainly purr. And tyre performance would certainly be increased by the significant increase in mew.
The entire system would be called the Untrained Moggy System, or 'UMS', replacing 'ERS'.

[xpensive]

Somehow I must have underestimated said imagination of the forum's members, as well as some of its moderators.

Keep it up gentlemen, this is good.

[bill shoe]

Piezos in the suspension with the car deliberately short fuelled. Drivers would have to go off track and hit every kerb to generate enough electricity to finish the race.

Grosjean could get an unfair advantage from extra piezos in his nosecone. He would only need enough petrol to get to the first corner...