I do a lot of sim racing, on a PC. I presently have a Logitech black Momo wheel, which I consider quite good. Funny thing is, some of the very best quality wheels, like Thomas Superwheel and Extreme Competition (http://www.ecci.net
) do not embrace force feedback, and even give their reasons why. But BRD have a new one one the way, with force feedback. All great gear, but at the top of the price range.
As a side note, if you desire reality, take a look at this bit of kit, I wish I had the money. http://www.force-dynamics.com/index.shtml
Back to game or platform choice, since I don't sim race on consoles, I can't offer a valid comparison. But I do race EA F1 2002 a lot, and in all honesty, I'm working so hard, and everything happens so quickly, I really don't notice the force feedback during a race. Same goes with GP4, I'm so involved in the action I don't take much notice of the force feedback. You have to remember that the real cars have power steering. But there's one beauty, my true love in sim racing "Grand Prix Legends", (with the current mods and updates) which is not only an absolute joy just to drive, but it gives very realistic and fantastic feedback. Going around Monza, feeling the back end slide out, and the front end feel react just like it would back in those days. Great stuff.
I would suggest that you keep in mind that a PC sim racing game will always probably be much more "realistic" than a console. Consoles, generally, are targeted at those who do not wish to spend much time on the steep side of the learning curve. A console may give the impression of realism by giving a lot of feedback, but it may not be true to the real thing.
In my GPL, I have spent hundreds and hundreds of hours practicing and racing. It's very tough, incredibly unforgiving, but in my opinion, as close to the real thing as it can get.