F1technical.net

xpensive wrote:

bhallg2k wrote: ...
I know, right?

Oh I don't know about that really, though it has done wonders to my stack of votes, however not in your league quite yet?

As for Norby's and RB's pitch to lure MS out of retirement, I'm working on it, but it sure begins with something like this;

"Hey MS, never getting weary of counting coins down there in Switzerland, ever miss the limelight?"

"Not all Ross. I've been World Champion 7 times. I've won more races than any man alive. Life is good...I spend my mornings in my 5,000 square foot closet deciding on what outfit I will wear today. Much like my driving, my clothing tastes are impeccable. But enough about me Ross, I hear you sold your team off to Merc but will be team princpal. You must be excited for more success."

"Yeah, ya know Michael, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. As you know I have to find some able bodies to make this team work, so I was thinking---"

"Say no more Ross, I would love to be your technical advisor!"

"--er yeah no Michael, I had a different idea. How about you come driver for the Silver Arrows for 3 years? I may, sort of, need some cover. I'm not sure this team is capable of competing without a A+ driver."

"I'm not interested. I've been away from racing for a few years. I have a good thing here with my family in Switzerland. Why do I want to give this up?"

*silence*

"I hate to do this...after all we've been through together. Do I need to remind you of 1996?"

"Schleisse, you wouldn't dare. You did it once and we agreed never to speak of it again?"

"I'm sorry Michael, I never meant to play that card again. It was supposed to be a one time thing when you took me to Ferrari from Benetton. I just never guessed I would find myself in hot water like this...the Daimler board expects something even though I have nothing to give them outside of a 7-time world champion. If you need some incentive...just think of how it would look to the world if they find out the truth about what we did in 1994, and that in spite of that nice line about wanting to distance yourself, you knew what was going on?"

*pin drops*

"Schleisse! I don't have a choice here do I?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

*fade to black*

At this point Norby the Hutt barges in on the conversation;

"Can you alzo rremember who put you in zat stopid Irishman's car at Spa in 1991 and how we f*cked him ze same night, ja?"

"See Michael you have no choice, tell the wife and kids whatever story you like. Either way you better be on the first flight to Germany --I mean Brackley, England. It's still a British team even though the car is painted silver."

"This is going to be a long few years."

"Just think of how long it's going to be for me since the board is going to realize this was all a bad idea."

"Is the car competitive at least?"

"Probably not."

"At least I get a share of the loot, yes?"

" Not nearly as much as the two of us, but pretty decent, you have any idea of someone who will tag along?"

"Nigel S perhaps?"

Norby reaches for his heart-pressure medicine.

Ross: "Norby, why are you getting so bent out of shape over that?"

Norby: "Mein gott! Are you two mad, did you see all the problems that came out of that??? We can ill afford the bad press that would bring."

Ross: "That would be the least of our problems by my count. Just figure, if everyone finds out you misled Dr. Z into the purchase of my team, imagine what kind of trouble you'll be in fat man. If I go down, you're coming with me."

xpensive wrote: Norby reaches for his heart-pressure medicine.

xpensive wrote:Really...now that reminds me of one of this season's teams actually?

Dr. Z: Oh bugger. You mean we should have just learned from all of our competitors who blew a load of money and couldn't justify it? You fat b****** Norby!

rjsa wrote:The massive companies fled due to achieving no results no matter how much money they threw at the cars.

Not just that but the ever increasing piles of money couldn't be justified by actual sales, and on top of that it isn't worth it to them if they aren't winning. They just can't sustain being a midfield team as sustainable. If Toyota, BMW and others couldn't manage that I wonder what delusions of grandeur JET thinks AMG have caught.

munudeges wrote:

xpensive wrote:Really...now that reminds me of one of this season's teams actually?

Dr. Z: Oh bugger. You mean we should have just learned from all of our competitors who blew a load of money and couldn't justify it? You fat b****** Norby!

Norby: "Dr. Z., I gave you flawless information. I gave you a ex-championship team. I gave you an ex-championship winning driver. Don't 2 negatives make a positive? When I learned multiplication, why they told us 2 negative numbers multiplied ALWAYS equaled a positive!

Dr . Z: "........"

Norby: "Dr. Z, don't look at me with that evil look in your eye. It's causing me to have heart palpitations!"

Scene: Monaco paddock, 2012 after Schumacher's DNF

Michael: "Dammit Ross, I didn't want to drive when you asked me a few years ago, but now I've kind of gotten into the flow of it again. The first season I am enjoying driving, I suddenly can't finish a race due to these mechanical malfunctions. I think there's some sort of sabotage going on."

Ross: "I take these things seriously...before we go any further, I have a serious question. It will help me get to the bottom of this. Can you think of anyone who might have a grudge against you in F1?"

This team could not get past the midfield even when first BAT and then Honda tossed a shed load of money, with 2 (or maybe 3) seasons as exception. What makes Mercedes think that they'll ever crack into the top3 without spending not nearly as much as Red Bull, Ferrari or Macca ? Even then it's not guaranteed, HRT are a joke but if I had to pick between the two for investment, I'd still pick HRT. That team (BAR/Honda/Brawn/Mercedes eg.) is just a giant black hole that doesn't even let out hawking radiation...

Shrieker wrote:This team could not get past the midfield even when first BAT and then Honda tossed a shed load of money, with 2 (or maybe 3) seasons as exception. What makes Mercedes think that they'll ever crack into the top3 without spending not nearly as much as Red Bull, Ferrari or Macca ? Even then it's not guaranteed, HRT are a joke but if I had to pick between the two for investment, I'd still pick HRT. That team (BAR/Honda/Brawn/Mercedes eg.) is just a giant black hole that doesn't even let out hawking radiation...

You forgot to add Tyrrell Racing to that list Shrieker.

This is what I don't get.

This team has a lineage of failure.

In 1983, Tyrrell Racing scored --what no one knew at the time-- their final F1 victory when Michele Alboreto took the win at the Detroit Grand Prix.

They were bought out by BAR and renamed for the 1999 season where they would manage 6 futile seasons. They were then bought out by Honda, and Jenson Button took a victory at Hungary in 2006. This was the first victory for that team in 23 seasons.

Then...Honda sells the team with a very capable car for pennies on the dollar to Ross for the 2009 season. They have their most successful season where they win 8 out of 17 races en route to both the WDC and WCC.

In one season they won more races than the team won combined over the previous 36 seasons.

This team in all of its incarnations, hadn't won more than two races in a season since Sir Jackie Stewart won the WDC in 1973.

The team again changes hands for 2010, and 2 1/2 years in, they have 1 race victory in what coincidentally happened to be the lottery year.

If I were on the Daimler board, after reading this post, I would be hitting the "Sell All" button as fast as I possibly can.

I left Tyrrell out simply because they didn't have the budget to get the job done past the 70's, and certainly not in the 90's. I haven't done an analysis (nor that I can for that matter), but most probably Tyrrell GP was a much more cost efficient operation especially compared to the early years of BAR and Honda in 2007-2008 which arguably never lacked funding.

SeijaKessen wrote:Scene: Monaco paddock, 2012 after Schumacher's DNF

Michael: "Dammit Ross, I didn't want to drive when you asked me a few years ago, but now I've kind of gotten into the flow of it again. The first season I am enjoying driving, I suddenly can't finish a race due to these mechanical malfunctions. I think there's some sort of sabotage going on."

Ross: "I take these things seriously...before we go any further, I have a serious question. It will help me get to the bottom of this. Can you think of anyone who might have a grudge against you in F1?"

Michael: eees zis a tricky queschin?!.........<scratches chin> no ot anyone zat I can sink off........maybe zat Schotzman wis der e, how do you call it now,.........Kilt!. He doz haff a groodge zat vont die. So I tried to clober him, beeeg deal. Zillly zod, driving zlowly in ze rain....

<scrtches chin> ........and zen maybe zat Broondle chap. He ist very englisher ya?

And zen zair is probablyzat Veen,....you know ze one wiss the face wis a broom justbelow heees noze....heees name zounds like stuttering.. Key key or somesin liek that.

Ross: You mean Nico's dad, Keke.

Michael: Ya zat is how you call him You always veer bettazanme at zis English thing...