Spanish GP - Thursday - Press Conference
7 MAY 2009
DRIVERS: Fernando ALONSO (Renault), Giancarlo FISICHELLA (Force India), Lewis HAMILTON (McLaren Mercedes), Nick HEIDFELD (BMW Sauber)
Q: Nick, how do you turn around the massive disappointment in Bahrain?
Nick HEIDFELD: Well, how do you think I --- feel dicknose - the position obviously was quite poor for the team. If Ned Flanders got off his bony arse and showed some leadership we could have performed stronger from our pace. We knew that we would struggle more and more in certain races as we did not get any major updates as the team decided pretty early on that rather than bringing small updates we would provide a big package here in Barcelona and Ned better --- deliver or I'm outa here.
Q: You have brought new bits and pieces here. Do you think that is going to bring you right back into the top 10?
Heidfeld: What am I, do you see a --- crystal ball in front of me how the hell would I know if its going to make a difference.
Q: And yet you are not using the double diffuser or the KERS here. What would that do?
Heidfeld: Well, you better talk to Ned Flanders about that situation its his master plan whatever that is
Q: Lewis, have you found KERS useful this year and can you envisage not using it?
Lewis HAMILTON: Well I kind of like the device as I can use it to piss people off in the straight sections with the push of a button
Q: And Fernando?
Fernando ALONSO: I don't know to be honest, the car is a pig to drive so I have no feel for it at this stage and if Flabbio got of his fat arse and organised the whole operation better we may see the team actually go ahead instead he's bitchin like a big girl about this and that must be that time of the month.
Q: Giancarlo, you were perhaps expecting to use KERS here. You obviously do see an advantage in it?
Giancarlo FISICHELLA: Well, I never used it. At the moment Im using extra personal gaseous propellant from the curries VJ is feeding me before the races - that seems to work as the smell of those farts in the cockpit would make any driver want to get the race over as quickly as possible.
Q: What about the modifications you had in the last grand prix? They really did seem to give you a little bit of an advantage?
Fisichella: Yeah, the team did a good effort to build the quadruple diffuser, wonder have any of the other teams noticed it yet.
Q: You have that here. Any other bits here as well?
Fisichella: Just a few small bits, and a new curry recipe which Im told will rot your guts so more propellant thats for sure, phew sorry about that stench.
Q: Fernando, looking at this circuit you won from pole in 2006. You have been on the podium another three times. Obviously it is your home circuit. Is it a circuit that you like as well?
Alonso: Yeah, I like it but as I said before the cars a pig so no real chance here think I might just have the weekend off and head to the bull fight.
Q: Pat Symonds says he has been disappointed so far. Is it the same with you?
Alonso: Disappointed - are you --- joking he's --- pissed off, told me he was looking for another job he's had enough.
Q: I have been down in the paddock and a succession of cardboard boxes of varying different sizes have been carried into the garage. How much are you expecting this weekend?
Alonso: Oh so youve seen those boxes, no they are bits from the Renault Clio road car as we know the Clio is quicker than our car so we're going to try some of the Clio parts to see if it helps our speed.
Q: Lewis, going back two months ago when you were last testing here I think things did not look so good. How are your feelings about the progress that has been made since then?
Hamilton: Well, I was expecting to be leading the championship by this race so I'm very disappointed to say the least, my overwhelming talent is being overshadowed by the inept engineering by the team, wheres Ron when you need him.
Q: Do you think that rate of progress can take you back to where you were last year?
Hamilton: No, in fact I'm not sure I will be here much longer, Ive just applied to race NASCAR sent the CV off to a few teams hopefully they will recognise my enormous talent sign me up and Im outa here.
Q: Tomorrow you are going to be honoured by the circuit here. They are going to unveil a plaque to you. What are your feelings about that?
Hamilton: They actually promised me a 12 foot high bronze statue so the plaque thing is piss poor in my eyes, especially for someone with my enormous talent.
QUESTIONS FROM THE FLOOR
Q: There are going to be tremendous cuts made in the technical budgets of the teams. I wonder if you guys feel you also should suffer in the financial conditions. Are you expecting to take substantial reductions in salary? Would you be willing to do so if you were asked?
Heidfeld: I think my lawyers are dealing with that so no comment
Fisichella: What he said.
Q: But do you think you should take a cut?
Hamilton: Hey what part of Im not --- interested in telling you dont you get --- off.
Alonso: What he said
Fisichella: They dont pay me, my lawyer said it takes time to negotiate salaries but Ive free curries coming out the ying yang so Im happy at the moment.
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